While the the biblical book of Revelation describes Apocalypse as the complete and final destruction of the world, a new book predicts the same fate for Americans with Trumpocalypse if the Republican front-runner Donald Trump happened to become the President.
Written in a satirical tenor by the online magazine Onion’s founding editor Scott Dikkers, the book aims to prepare America for an impending Trumpocalypse.
According to Dikkers, among other topics this new book exposes Trump’s secret plans to:
– Find (and destroy) big foot –
– Build wall in earth orbit to prevent space alien invasion –
– Deploy ark-of-the-covenant as weapon of mass-destruction –
The book, Trump’s America: The Complete Loser’s Guide, will be published on April 15, 2016.
Dikkers says he wrote the book as a public service to help people thrive over the next eight-years (perhaps many more), and avoid having to attend (and pay for) a Trump University Reeducation Camp.
According to Dikkers:
1. We need to prepare ourselves for the Trumpocalypse. For instance, men need to know when to offer their wives to President Trump; journalists must learn to confirm facts only when President Trump says them at least three different times.
2. Carrying the book with you at all times will significantly reduce the risk of being inconvenienced by detention or deportation.
3. Citizens must ensure every room of the home has a desk copy (in addition to copies of all books written by Donald Trump).
4. Trump Book Clubs will be established everywhere to study Trump’s America: The Complete Loser’s Guide, and regular attendance and passionate participation will be both mandated by the federal government and a terrific idea.
Soon, Dikkers said, copies of the book will be available in all known, extinct and future languages, including English.